Get rid of power struggles
Do you want your daughter to wear a dress for the party. He wants jeans. Want to take your child his medicine. He does everything to keep the bad bit out of his mouth. The more he insists, no longer resist. You can get rid of power struggles and turn turbulence into positive growth opportunities, with some helpful tips on site:
* Take a step back and look at the big picture. How do you react when your child challenges your authority? If your attentionChildren as "intentional" or "bad", this point of view: it is more appropriate stage of development for children their limits. When children grow up, have a natural desire to make their own decisions and do things for themselves. You want to separate from parents and function on their own. Instead of this as a threat, consider it a necessary part of growth.
Reading on a large image, your emotions will not clog your opinion when it comes to power-hungryKids. If your exercise through violence and intimidation, one of the side effects occur: either give your children and to stay motivated or decide to defend themselves, they rebel against you. When children press the power, remember that a positive response from you, set a course for cooperation and empowerment.
Models * Break negative. Power struggles follow a pattern like the footsteps of a dance. They want "this" becomes "that". Changethe model and change the course of your relationship. Anne has a model to engage in power struggles of their mom curfew. Anne said her mother, "I stay late." Mom says: "No, you do not." Anne protests. Mom screams. Anne looks. Mama punished. Anne she takes a rebellious behavior. It 's always the same pattern. When dad saw the drawing, he made a conscious decision to change it. Next time, Anne said she wanted to stay late, Mom had a new answer. She said: "Youdesire to stay out late at night do not you dear? "Anna began to complain out of habit, then looked at Mama's in shock." Yes, "said Anne," I want to stay home to watch Kim at 11. "My mother listened to the sentiments of Anne and assured her that if she got older, he could stay out later.
* Do not allow children some decisions. Many parents report the first successful dodge power struggle. Then slip back into shouts orders, which sets in motion the new model. This canavoid decisions of children, who may both your needs are met. Judy does not want to wash their sticky fingers. Rather than fight with his father are the choice Judy, "Will you wash with soap or liquid soap?" Judy takes liquid soap.
The children want performance. If you give them choices, because it is much easier for them to cooperate. The key decisions to make this work is given only to the decisions that you are willing to accept. Enter the real "decisions are not manipulative," aslike this: "You can easily choose to eat the tuna sandwich or select the TV for the day to lose." This is not an election for authorization. If children can feel the power of their lives, even if it is something small, like what color shirts they did drink what Bedtime Story to hear, or if it is to do your homework before or after dinner, their reputation is growing as they enjoy a degree of control over their lives.
* Type your children. If you can not get rid of a power struggle,Ask yourself: "How can I improve my child in this situation?" Jane argued with Michael to eat junk food. Every time you come back, he ate everything. Jane decided, the power to Michael from him. "Michael, I bought a box of Girl Scout cookies, I will not buy snack until next week, you are responsible for how you eat your meal you can eat fast or do .. have had all week." Michael cookies in the box and there was a considerablereasonable plan for snacking. No strength to fight.
* Has the unexpected. With humor, it helps pass side power struggles. Burst in a foreign accent or the voice of the cartoon can lighten the atmosphere. If things are getting tense, move your hand in the air and said: "We begin this conversation, erase everything and start over." Exit the room and return, starting on a quieter note. This may be sufficient to get things back on track.
* Focus on solutions.Power struggles in a win-lose attitude. No one really wins when you win both. Teaching children the importance of listening and considering the point of view of each person. Show them how to search for solutions to search for all jobs. You can tell your son. "Let's see if we come with some ideas to take into account both our needs"
* Disagreement and lack of respect are two different things. Do you think your children should never be "no" you say? Instead of "no" as a signLack of respect, they see it as a difference of opinion. We encourage our children to say "no" to drugs and peer pressure. While teaching children, for themselves, we must recognize it is time to be alone will be with us. The key is to teach children to respect differences, and to display. When Andy said. "You do not know what you can eat these peas download them from my plate," was not well with Dad. Managed the power struggle with the words: "Andy, it's easier for me to be of assistance to you, ifIt says something like: "Dad, I prefer not to eat the peas with dinner." Every time respectful of your children model peace agreement with disagreements.
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